so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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