Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
