if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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