I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
