maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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