we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
40s are totally the cure
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
