he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
