You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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