I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
