I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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