wakey wakey hands off snakey
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
