did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
