Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
