Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
