Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
