there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
