they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
