you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
