I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
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she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize