His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
