I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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