Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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