It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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