they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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