Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
