I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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