margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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