Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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