Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
