Please, let me fuck your mom
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
