Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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