just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
