Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
