how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
