Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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