Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
