Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
