I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
