I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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