mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
