Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Found the puke drawer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize