She said her name was "party"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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