How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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