Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.