Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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  (509): I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo. http://tfl.nu/veuj
  Replies (16) Good night (4668) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  nevermind....I'm on the way

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  (814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu
  Replies (70) Good night (10347) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

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  (314): I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today. http://tfl.nu/ix6a
  Replies (44) Good night (7030) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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  (281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52
  Replies (13) Good night (5905) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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  (330): Every perfect package comes with a warning label. http://tfl.nu/x7rd
  Replies (25) Good night (3812) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1025) Bad night (5707)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.

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  (206): someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'. http://tfl.nu/u94d
  Replies (9) Good night (6968) Bad night (873)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (785): sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/vv7s
  Replies (8) Good night (2572) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing

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  (631): he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing http://tfl.nu/xi7n
  Replies (10) Good night (1798) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.

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  (816): Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks. http://tfl.nu/88uh
  Replies (20) Good night (1960) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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  (575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf
  Replies (10) Good night (1654) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

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  (207): HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health. http://tfl.nu/zxtp
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.

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  (619): It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception. http://tfl.nu/8si3
  Replies (11) Good night (2759) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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  (423): I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves. http://tfl.nu/s92y
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

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  (727): I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes (937): Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you. http://tfl.nu/m8ti
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (298)

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