yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
