Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.