so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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