Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
