True but thats because hes a fetus.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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