Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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