dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
soo... how was my night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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