Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
