my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
