she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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