how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
