Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
