I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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