she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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