so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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