And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
