YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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