biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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