we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i came on her dog
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
BRING THE BAGELS
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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