so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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