I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
