So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
