Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
