I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
