Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
