My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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