where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we have officially lost it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
